You know the song, breaking up is hard to do. Well, for you gents out there, I'll give you the perfect way to let her down easy. One comment though before we begin, if you know her previous boyfriend to have been a reader of mine, I warn you trying this method on her is quite dangerous, for if she has been let down before this way, she will be infuriated as opposed to delighted and elated.
First of all, make sure that you've discussed your decision with your friends. They may be against you breaking up with her, and to do this right you need the support of atleast three friends.
The setting is important, I suggest a bridge view with lots of greenery by where you'll be sitting. By a lake, or a quiet river, find a bench. Make sure to do it at a time when there aren't many people around the area. Just in case she has been through this before, she might make a scene if people are around.
Tell your girlfriend, soon to be ex, that you would like to go for a walk in the park, or wherever the view of a bridge is. If you think she knows its coming, don't say to talk. As you stoll around the park, don't talk about the future. Start talking about the past, before you met her, before you were obsessed with women. Talk about that until you reach the bench, then you say to her lets sit down. You look to her and say there's something I have to tell you, wait right here. Then you go around just out of sight, meet up with three of your friends, grab a candy-striped vest and round paper hat, just like your friends are wearing, come out and sing the following song:
Good-bye my coney island baby
1: Goodbye!
2: Goodbye!
3: Goodbye!
4: Goodbye!
ALL: Goodbye my coney island baby
ALL:Farewell my own true love
1,3,4: True Love!
some other lyrics.
ALL: Never to see you any more
3: never gonna see you any
ALL: Never to return again
1,2,4: return again!
1: goodbye!
2: farewell!
3: buckle up and say!
1,2,3: Goodbye my coney island
4: Me- ha!
1,2,3: Goodbye my coney island
4: Me- oo!
1,2,3: Goodbye my coney island babe
4: goodbye my coney island babe.
a note on barber shop, the solo chimes in before the last line is finished.