Okay, so if you want to succeed in business, you have to play golf. Not just play, but be good at it. After all, how can you throw the game if your boss is better than you to begin with?
The sad truth is, this stupid sport is played by most men with signifigant holdings, so to fit in, you have to have a decent enough game that won't get you laughed off the field, or angrily thrown off after an embarrasing five wood incident.

In truth, you want to be your boss' secret weapon when he plays his arch rival/nemesis. You want to be the best, lose to him, but when youre teamed up its okay to out shine him, after all, he wants to win.

But why will tennis will get you fired? Well, a good amount of men that are well to do play the game, but even more so are the wives and daughters of the filthy rich golf players.
I'm sure you I don't need to draw you a diagram, but if I didn't, I wouldn't be me. And if I'm not me, who am I? I'll tell you who I'm not, a guy who's never had an orgy, nor am I a guy that would use a double plus negative.
Moving on, if you play tennis, you will appease your boss, but not impress him. (I use the male pronoun, because this guide is for people who are at the top. If your boss is a woman, you can climb higher, what with the glass ceiling and all) He will make jabs at you behind your back, and a couple to your face, about playing with the women or their trainers. Then of course, you will inevitably befriend his wife, his daughter, his mother, his whatever - female, and you, the charmer that you are to get that far, hard work indeed, will end up sleeping with her, or them, either seperately or together in the case of twins / crazy mothers who have warped their daughters into being their best friends because they have no real friends themselves. Even if the hot and steamy affair ends with just sex, your boss will inevitably find out about it, because it will be dropped at the worst possible time, either by the adultress, the slut, or the guy who wants your job. In either case, theirs too much risk in playing tennis, because it always ends in sex.

Next time, a review on my treatise on the subject of a whore