Since first there were two people, introductions have been a part of human society. From it's humble beginnings of grunts to other guys and hoots to women, men have been at the forefront of introductions. That is not to belittle the importance of women in the introduction ritual, but me not being a misogynist, I can't really talk about what it is they do. (it involves curtseying)

Since Bruce Campbell has throughly covered the handshake with his appended autobiography, I can skip that and go right to the heart of what I wanted to discuss.
Ok, a guy introducing himself to a lady, and she returning with her introduction. In the movies, it goes something like this for the trully suave: Bond, James Bond. Pussy, Pussy Galore. Now, obviously, you have to take that down a notch for the average joe in a movie, which goes something like this: Hank, Hank Ortegia. Julia, Julia Bathwater. Notice how the suave man uses his last name first, while everyone else uses their first name first? That's because the suave guy is english and the family name is more important than the individual's name. In American society, it's sorta flipped. Anyway, what I would like to do, is go around introducing myself to the ladies like this: Max, 555-3825. And get a response like this: Jayne, 555-7873. I suppose that's asking for a bit much, but then again it's not like I ever asked for that much out of life, and so far have gotten stiffed at every turn... except one.

I took a break and forgot where I was going with this essay, check back again another time