Getting Started
The Bad Plan
I'm making a pun, so laugh. Your plan should be bad, as in evil, but
should also be good, as in effective. In order to devise a good plan,
you needn't think of money, for that comes later. Instead you should
think in terms of science and advanced physics. You want a fisable
plan, don't you? And please, be creative, the missles and nukes are so
over-done.
Money
Okay, if you already have billions of dollars at your disposal, please
ignore this section. If you can get access to that money (i.e. you're
a military official, banker, computer hacker, etc.) than a little
withdrawl (or rather a lot of little withdrawls) are in order. If
you don't have access to any off that, get a gun and a few followers with
guns and rob and ransom to get the money. But!!!! Remember,remain inconspicuous,
don't let anyone know that you're doing this. The
less people in on the deal, the bigger your share is.
Henchmen
It's good to work with your friends, but they will want equal pay and
equal treatment, and are therefore a liability. It's better to have
hired goons, for they will take your maltreatment for as long as they
are adequetly paid. Ofcourse, if you treat either party extremly nicely and
generously, than they may develop some loyalty after the money is gone for the
time being (stress on the may).
Seeing The Plan Through
Don't Get Killed
"We've got this thing about death, it's just not us"-Barf
Don't get killed, it's bad. You can't be a martyr, for no one is
smart enough to see your grand plan through.
Hostages Are An Achilles Heel
Sure, in some situations it may seem right, but a plan shouldn't depend on them.
In the eyes of the government(who aren't a problem without the hero), hostages
are expendable if it'll save their behinds. Concentrate your (wo)men on
the task at hand. Here's a helpful list:
1.Minimal amount of hostages
2.Children, old people, and non-threatening people
3.They shouldn't have jackets or bags(concealed weapon)
4.They should be tied up (hog tied preffered)
5.Not near any central location, but near enough to threaten with
6.They are expendable, kill for examples
7.They make great body sheilds
8.Don't trust them under any circumstance
9.Keep them guarded with guns from an uninpenatrible point(Alcatrazish)
You Won't Get Hindered
As we all know, the plan goes perfectly until the good guy gets involved.
You just gotta hope he(she)'s not one of those right place right time
heros, but a special mission one, for those heros don't get in the way
majorly until the end.
How To Defeat Good Guys
Shooting
I know, I know, you have a crackshot team off terrorists and they
never miss a shot. Well guess what, when it comes to shooting innocent
civilians, they don't miss, but if you tell them to shoot the good
guy, they will miss. And if, IF, they manage to hit him(or her) it will
just be a nic and look worse than it actually is. And nine out of
ten times, your soldiers will just be foder for the hero, only your second
in command will get that shot off.
Capture
Don't Capture, kill. Remember, rifles butts
were invented to rest against your arm, not the head of the enemy
(only when out of ammo and knives is this acceptable). If you're able
to get behind the guy to black-jack 'em, you really should stab him(or her),
for that kills the person.
Killing
In order to be a good villian, you have to satisfy
your ego in other ways than by telling the good guy what your plan is
and why you're doing it. Get a cat if you need to talk to someone
with the same intelligance as you (I'm implying that cats are smart
and villians who don't follow this guide are dumb). Here are some
helpful rules when you see the protaganist(antagonist in your eyes):
1.Shoot him(or her)
2.Shoot him(or her) in the head several times)
3.Flambee his ass with flamethrower
4.Throw corpse to wolves or any other of your wild animal pets
5.If at any point you feel the need to reveal yourself and your plan,
please see steps 1 through 4.
Just kill the person, nothing fancy or special. For all of you
egomaniacs, you can be creative (like flambeing and then shooting),
but the idea still stays the same, simple killing, no tied to the train
track stuff.
Post-Deneumont
After you have killed the good guy, taking over the world should be
less than thirteen seconds away. Why so little time, you ask. Well,
if you're a good villian, you should have already been in the final countdown
of your plan.(there is a countdown for robbery is not a plan worthy of
my help)
Me
There is room for ego, but don't let your ego control you. Think reasonably.
Also, you gotta have style
and believe me you have it.